Why Emotional Intelligence is More Important Than IQ

Conventional wisdom has it that there is a direct connection between our IQ and our ability to succeed in life. In school, we are ranked by our GPA. At certain points in grade school, students are given standardized test that ranks them with other students around the country. Schools are obsessed with how their students rank compared with others. A requirement for most colleges is a satisfactory score on the SAT or ACT exam. These tests are basic IQ test, designed to test our math and reading comprehension.

But there have been many studies that show IQ only accounts for about 20% of our success. The major attributes of success are our social and emotional intelligence. Yet there is very little emphasis put on emotional intelligence. Only a handful of schools have any formal programs that address emotional intelligence.

In his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman says, "People with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of the mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought."

We have an emotional mind and a rational mind. In large part, our emotional mind developed to help us survive. When man first wandered the earth anytime he encountered some new experience, he needed to make instant decisions about whether the encounter involved something that he could eat or something that might try and eat him. To rely on the rational mind, which works much slower than the emotional mind, might have meant the end of mankind. The emotional mind springs into action much quicker than the rational mind. But unless we learn to control the emotional mind, we will make lots of bad decisions and poor choices.

Our emotional intelligence has such a large impact on our success in life, it is important that we fully develop our emotional skills. Here are the top five reasons why your emotional intelligence determines your success in life.

1. Overall impact on success.

It has been said that your IQ can land you a job but your lack of EQ can get you fired. Your IQ only accounts for 20% of your success in life. Your emotional intelligence and social intelligence are much greater determinants of the success you will achieve in life.

2. Delayed gratification.

Delayed gratification is the top predictor of future success. People who are able to pay the price today and delay the rewards are much more likely to succeed in life. Unfortunately we have become a nation seeking instant gratification. This shows up in our everyday lives in the foods we choose to eat, the buy now pay later way of life, our inability to follow an exercise regime and putting mindless entertainment ahead of self-development.

3. Our relationships with others

Our emotional skills have a direct and important bearing on our relationships with others. We need to understand our feelings, where they come from and how to properly express them. We will not maintain healthy relationships unless we can control our emotions, communicate our feelings in a constructive manner and understand the feelings of others.

4. Impact on our health

There is a direct connection between our emotional health and our physical health. If our lives are filled with stress, our physical health suffers. It has been estimated that well over 80% of our health problems are stress related. We experience stress primarily because we are not comfortable emotionally. We need to understand the link between our emotional health and our physical health.

5. The connection between poor EQ and rising crime

Unfortunately there is a direct connection between poor emotional skills and the rising crime rate. Children who have poor emotional skills become social outcast at a very young age. They might be the class bully because of a hot temper. They have learned to react with their fist rather than reason. Poor social and emotional skills contribute to poor attention in class and feelings of frustration. They rapidly fall behind and make friends with others in the same boat. There is a direct path to crime that starts early in life. While there is no doubt that family and environment are great contributors, the common thread is poor emotional and social skills. The direct result of poor training in emotional skills.

This is one case where an ounce of prevention would certainly be worth a pound of cure. The cost of intervention when a child is in grade school is minor compared to the cost to jail them in their teens and twenties.

So how do we develop emotional intelligence?

We need to know our emotions. We need to develop self-awareness - to be able to recognize feelings as they happen.

We must learn how to manage our emotions. Unless we learn to manage our emotions we will constantly be battling feelings of gloom and distress.

We must learn to motivate ourselves. Learn to emotional self-control - to delay gratification.

If we are to succeed in life, we need to learn to recognize emotions in others. We need to develop empathy. We need to be attuned to what others want or need.

And we need to develop our emotional intelligence so we are capable of healthy relationships.